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Pouncerstone | |
An Interview With Miss Taffy
Finally, excerpts are available from the recently
recovered "lost tapes" of an exclusive interview with Miss Taffy. The tapes were lost for years but
recently found in the attic of Taffy's grandmother's house. What was salvaged from the tapes is presented
below.
It all began while I was trying to go up and down the basement stairs, actually.
Well you know the big guy moved in with us several years ago. And just between you and me, my life hasn't been the same since then. It took Pouncer a few months to settle in and after a while I noticed that he had an eye for me. Anyway, I'd be going up and down the basement stairs with my catfriend Boone and Pouncer would be lying across the stairs, making it difficult for us to pass. At first I was wondering if he was trying to collect tolls or something. He'd eventually let Boone by, but I couldn't get past him most times without getting a tap on the rear from him. I'm special. I just bring out the animal magnetism in a big guy like Pouncer.
After several months of his trying to get
close to me, I finally let him share cat naps with me. Best decision I ever made. It's like having my
own 14 pound furnace on 4-paws. And he's very portable!
Eventually, I let Pouncer handle my grooming needs. He does my hair, you know. So when someone compliments
that I'm having a good hair day, some of the credit is actually due to Pouncer.
Here's a photo of how I was
wearing my hair in the early 80s, back when that "wild child" kitten-look was in. You don't know how often
I got mistaken for a member of the "Mod Squad" cast with that hair. Humans asked me for autographs
constantly! I've certainly come a long way since then, n'est-ce pas?
Well, he's very sweet, strong and muscular. I'll come right out and say it, the big guy's a hunk. Independent, too, of course. He lived on his own for at least two years before human met him and brought him home. So Pouncer's very well-traveled, kind of a cat of the world. You know like Norton, the cat who's almost as handsome as my Pouncer. But those cute little Scottish fold down ears of Norton's do turn a girl's head! Some of my favorite accounts of Norton's adventures are in Peter Gethers' books. Human and I especially enjoyed Peter's book The Cat Who Went To Paris. A true story of Norton's and his human's travels. As you must know, cats travel more openly in Europe than they do in America. In some ways, America's behind the times. But back to my Pouncer, the one who's got my heart. He purrs so loud sometimes when he's sitting with us that human says he's sounds like a little volcano rumbling. Human also says Pouncer's a Periscope Cat.
You media people get so silly. Too many flash bulbs going off?? Human calls Pouncer a Periscope Cat because sometimes she doesn't think she's seen him for an hour or so and she turns around and there he is, just lying in the hallway, peeking at her from around the corner. It happens all the time. He's like a periscope. He keeps a close eye on her.
Pouncer also likes to eat a lot, something human keeps an eye on.
She opens the refrigerator door and there they are, pushing and shoving to get at the leftovers. I try to
stay out of the way when that stuff starts. I've seen human chase after Pouncer down the basement stairs
many times trying to recover a chicken leg or something he took from that refrigerator. And most of the time,
human gets it back. Then there was that Milk Party that Pouncer had. That got pretty wild. And of course
that kid Lucky Larou was involved in that little wing-ding. Lucky's the wild child.
Well, if you insist. Our human was getting a glass of milk and the phone rang. She put the carton of milk down on the counter and went to answer that phone. You know how those things just keep ringing. Then human came back in the room a few minutes later and found the carton of milk spilled onto the floor. Pouncer and Lucky were walking around in it, having a pretty good time. I saw the whole thing. There Pouncer was on the kitchen counter and Lucky was meowing, "Go on Pouncer, just push it a little more! There it is, you've got it!" Splat! Pouncer's got muscles, you know, that carton was almost full. But not for long.
Human did not know where to start. She sent Pouncer downstairs and told him to think about what he had done while she washed the milk off of Lucky. Later she said when she went downstairs to wash the milk off of Pouncer's feet and belly, he was smiling. So it seems Pouncer did think about what he had done! Then later Lucky confessed that she set the whole thing up. Yes sir, the kid just cracked and confessed. The phone call was a set up just to get human to leave the room. I would like my public to know that I did not partake in the Milk Party. I felt it was unlady-like.
I had a lot of fun, especially with my adopted cat-sister, Boone. But human says I was in the "Terrible Twos" for way too many years. Always running around and knocking everything off the counters and tables. "Why?", human would ask. Simply because it's there. Anything out in the open is fair game for play time and investigative purposes to a cat. Then there was that time I got in a little trouble while exploring the back of the oven at 2 A.M. Let's just say human got me out of that one.
I don't like to talk about that story too much. Let's just say Boone dared me to do it. Eventually as I grew out of kittenhood and came into cathood, I settled down some. I've become an avid reader. For example, my favorite book is Meditations For Cats Who Do Too Much: Learning to Take Things One Life at a Time by Michael Cader. Some very good advice for cats in there.
Of course. First, respect the senior cats of your household. Seniors rule. There's a reason for the food chain structure, you know. And secondly, maintain your dignity by remembering the advice of Mary Bly, as quoted in the Michael Cader book which I just mentioned: "Dogs come when called. Cats just take a message and get back to you." My four-pawed friends, be true to your species.
Copyright © 1999 S.M. Kieta